


Dead

by kirojin



Category: Tokyo Ghoul
Genre: Dead People, Eventual Smut, F/M, Heaven, Hell, Self-Denial, Short Chapters, Spirits
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-04-22
Updated: 2018-07-11
Packaged: 2019-04-26 03:51:44
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 3,697
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14393703
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kirojin/pseuds/kirojin
Summary: An AU in which Kaneki goes to hell and everyone else, besides some people, go to Heaven.Shiro!kaneki





	1. The End

**Author's Note:**

> Leave feedback in the comments, please.
> 
> Also, I recommend listening to “Dead!” by My Chemical Romance. The whole Black Parade album would be an even greater choice, as it fits the story line. Every chapter will be named after a song from the Black Parade.

"And if your heart stops beatin',  
I'll be here wondering,  
'Did you get what you deserve?'  
The ending of your life.  
And if you get to Heaven,  
I'll be here waiting, baby,  
Did you get what you deserve?  
The end, and if your life won't wait,  
Then your heart can't take this."  
-My Chemical Romance, “Dead!”

'Of course,' Kaneki thinks as he looks at her. Hell wasn't quite the place where he'd think he wouldn't be. He always knew he'd go to hell. Because, who doesn't go to hell if they're like him? After all the pain he's caused and all the lives he's taken. 

Her soul is drifting to the place where he wishes he could be right now. 

Heaven.

Of course she'd be going to heaven. She's like an angel compared to him, and he knows it. There's no doubt about it, at all. He always knew his destiny would be to end up here, in hell itself. Heck, this wasn't what he expected. He always thought it would be like the hell in his head, but no, it's much, much worse here. Hell itself hurts.

But suddenly, he has an idea pop up in his head. There was always that one week when demons and angels could cross to see their loved ones. That would be the perfect time to see Touka. And Hinami. And Tsukiyama.

It seems like he's the only person he knows that's in hell. Everyone else is up in heaven. It's actually quite...scary... to be the only one down there. He didn't know most people down there, and he couldn't really do anything about it. He wasn't willing to get to know other people. After all, everyone seemed depressed and already too weary... Ah, the grip hell could get on you. 

Bloody, bloody hell. No wonder the Brits called it bloody. Because it really was bloody. Everyone was slowly, yet surely, dying.

He doesn't know how much he can live with this. Wasn't there a way to make a deal with the devil, or with God? 

He can only wish, but he knows there's no escaping his destiny. And at the moment, his destiny was to be in hell. Well, make it for the rest of his life, not just "at the moment."

Can't he take a break from this? His own personal hell was already bad enough, but this is even worse. There's fire everywhere, and screams and cries echo throughout the whole place. Day and night. You can't even sleep for a second before another scream comes. It was like if babies were crying the whole day.

It's his second week here, but he already can't stand it. It felt, but was, an eternity. The rest of his "life" would be spent here, in the bloody, bloody hell. 

Well, at least he can see Touka... Even if it was only once a year. He'd take the opportunity. But five, long, long months await him until that day.

Time to get to the waiting, then.

———

By the time there's only three months left 'till he gets to see Touka, he wants to give up. It's miserable living in hell, and he just wants to escape.

But, unfortunately, there's no escaping this hell hole. If only there was one way to escape...

Until then, he has to stay strong.

But honestly, the physical pain doesn't compare to the pain of not being able to see his friends. He misses them, all of them. Especially Hide. He, too, was in Heaven. Kaneki was just...lonely.

That was the truth.

Because of all of his sins, the consequence was to stay lonely in hell, all by himself.

No one he knew besides some people...

Which he hates.

—

Rize, Yamori, and others are there, as well.

He only had pure hatred for himself. If he hadn't committed so many sins and been a stupid fool, he would probably be in Heaven with everyone else. This was all his fault, and he knew it. He couldn’t blame anyone but himself.


	2. Dead

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The part when Kaneki dies and is chosen where to go.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is how Kaneki was taken to hell. I changed up the Anubis legend a little.
> 
> Please leave feedback. :) Follow me on Tumblr: @gerardwayisthicc

"Now come one come all to this tragic affair  
Wipe off that makeup, what's in is despair  
So throw on the black dress, mix in with the lot  
You might wake up and notice you're someone you're not."  
-My Chemical Romance, "The End"

—  
They were trying to save him, they truly were. The doctors did all they could, but it was no use. It wouldn't help. They knew they had failed to save Kaneki Ken. But even though they knew they wouldn't be able to save him, they tried.

Arima has truly beaten him badly. There was no hope for the boy. He was going to die, sooner or later. They preferred it be sooner so they wouldn't have to hear the screams of agony from their patient. 

And so it happened, their wish came true.

The machine he was plugged into started to beep loudly multiple times before letting out a long beep. He was dead. His heart had only taken a few more beats before it completely stopped. He had taken a few more breaths before his lungs gave out. Before his whole body gave out, he managed to choke out a broken word.

"T-Touk...a."

And so, soon after his death, his journey to the Black Parade began. The parade was in hell, of course.

(A/N: you may start listening to the Black Parade album, starting with the song, "Dead!")

He was...dead.

There was no doubt about it. Even if he tried, he himself knew there was no way to escape the fact that he had died on that hospital bed. On the hospital bed in Takamoro Hospital.

So was this what his mother felt when she died? Cold and empty? Or did she feel warm and full? That was a question he wanted an answer to. Did everyone who died feel like he did right now?

No, they didn’t. Some people, of course, didn’t. But he? Of course he would. He was a sinner. A huge sinner, he was.

He can’t help but wonder where everyone he cared about would end up.

And that’s when he saw the Anubis. 

And at that moment, he knew his heart would be weighed against the feather of Ma’at. If his heart was lighter than the feather, he would end up in heaven.  
If it was heavier, he’d end up in Hell.

The young man signaled to Kaneki to walk towards him. Kaneki did as “told” and walked towards him. There was a scale on a table in he middle of the room, and on one side of the scale was the feather of Ma’at.

He looked at Anubis and noticed his heart in Anubis’ hand. Blood dripped from it and hit the ground.

“You, Kaneki Ken, will now have your heart weighed against the feather of Ma’at on this scale. Step forth and see your sins unfold before you. I will ask questions, and you must answer them.” Anubis spoke.

Kaneki, feeling nervous, gulped and nodded, feeling his hands shaking from how nervous he was. This was it. This was where he’d find out where he’d be placed for the rest of his after life.

This almost felt like the Sorting Hat from the Harry Potter series he read. The only difference was that the sorting hat wouldn’t send you to your doom if you did something wrong. Or would it?

“Have you ever killed before?”

“Y-Yes...” Ken speaks quietly, as if though ashamed of himself. He can’t help but be ashamed. He’s taken so many innocent and un-innocent lives away. Many people have died because of him. Many have almost died because of him. 

“Have you ever cheated?”

“I’m not quite sure...” he responds. He did cheat on that math test when he was younger, but is that really important? After all, he was only ten years old. It seemed kind of stupid to count that as a big sin.

“Now, time to move on to the seven deadly sins.”

“Did you ever have a feeling of lust?”

“Multiple times...” Ken responds. Not for Rize, but for Touka. Touka, strangely, had always made him feel lustful. It was like an itch on his body. He couldn’t get rid of it.

“Ever felt envy for someone or something?”

“Yes. I felt envy for all of the people who had their mother and weren’t lonely. I wished for a happy life with my family. My father died when I was very young, and my mother died as well. I was left all alone.” 

Now he can feel tears streaming down his face. He had so much regret and anger at himself. He had self-pity. But he also felt angry at his own mother. If she hadn’t pushed herself so hard to support his lousy aunt, he wouldn’t have been left alone. This would have never happened if he had a guide. He wouldn’t be so...stupid.

“Now, the last question I’ll make before weighing your heart. If you could have anyone here with you, who would it be?” Anubis asks.

“I-I...” 

He doesn’t even know. He has so many people he wishes to see. Hinami, Touka, Tsukiyama, Hide... So many people. He wishes he could still be alive to be with them all.

“I think I would have Touka here with me... She pushed me past my limits. She’s my muse. She helped me find my way through this world when I first was turned into a half-ghoul.”

“Very well. Time to weigh your heart.” Anubis said.

He laid his heart on the other side of the scale. 

Kaneki couldn’t help but widen his eyes when his heart weighed more than the feather. So it was hell, after all.

“Kaneki Ken, you shall be taken to hell.”


	3. This is How I Disappear

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kaneki learns there’s a way to see Touka earlier.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Leave feedback, please.
> 
> Follow me on Instagram (@dammitgerard) and Tumblr (gerardwayisthicc) for more content if you like my works!

"To un-explain the unforgivable,  
Drain all the blood and give the kids a show.  
By streetlight this dark night,  
A seance down below.  
There're things that I have done,   
You never should ever know!"  
—My Chemical Romance, "This Is How I Disappear"

—

And so, Kaneki Ken was sent to hell. He was banished almost instantly after his test with the Anubis itself. So this was how it felt to be banished to hell. It felt awful. He felt a dark pit in his stomach. He felt empty, like if his soul had just been taken out of his body and he was only a bag of flesh. 

What if he was only just a bag of flesh?

This was how he would disappear.

And so, he did. He disappeared from the lives of everyone. Sure, he was still remembered, but his physical form disappeared from the lives of his friends. His body had been disposed by the doctors already, anyways.

He wondered what everyone was doing up there in heaven. Of course, he was burning in hell. 

Strangely, he had already grown a pair of horns and wings, both black. They both hurt to get, but it happened anyways.

There's only about two months left until demons and angels can see each other, and he can't wait. He just wants to see them all so bad. He especially can't wait to see Touka. She, like he said to Anubis, is his muse after all.

It's so hard to stay strong when every single muscle and bone in your body is about to shatter. In Hell, everyone has to work nonstop except for some five minute breaks here and there. Those are rare, though. And god, it's hot as well...hell.

At least they can listen to music. Kaneki chooses not to, though. Why? Oh, because most of the songs he has bought on his iTunes account reminds him of them. Hinami would always introduce him to soft music, whilst Touka would be a total metalhead. Tsukiyama preferred classical music. Nishiki preferred rap. All different music tastes, but he liked them all.

Touka would rock out to bands such as Mindless Self Indulgence, My Chemical Romance, and Five Finger Death Punch. She also liked Panic! at the Disco.

Hinami liked BTS. She loved the way their vocals sounded and the meanings behind every song. It also kind of fit her, since BTS was very soft compared to something like Mindless Self Indulgence.

Tsukiyama was an expert when it came to Mozart and Beethoven. Every song that came on that was classical, Tsukiyama knew the name of.

Nishiki liked Tupac, Snoop Dogg, and artists like that. Eminem was Kaneki's personal favorite.

He can't stop thinking about them, can he?

—

Despite the fact he's in hell, Kaneki notices how the temperature has gotten a little colder. It must be "winter" in hell.

He wonders how cold it might be up there where everyone else is at. He wishes he could ask them, at least.

Are they having fun? What are they doing at this time? It's midnight now. He can barely hear the music from Heaven. So many genres mixed together. For a second, he hears Panic! at the Disco. His eyes widen slightly.

Is that Touka? Is that someone else? Who is it? Did they know Touka? Were they with Touka?

He can only wonder about her. 

Hopefully, she was happy.

—

His birthday is coming by, and his new friends from Hell are deciding to throw him a birthday party. One of his friends is named Greg. He's quite a good friend. He got sent to hell for committing suicide.

“C’mon, Kaneki. You need to celebrate, at least a little. Once a year. I know you don’t drink, but me and Jake are planning something for you.” 

“I’m fine. I’d rather just work for my birthday.” Kaneki says.

“But it’s the only day the Devil lets us take a day off from that horrible work.” Jake sighs, rubbing his hair back with his hand.

“I know, but I’d rather work than have to celebrate my birthday alone.” Kaneki smiles slightly.

“What if we make your birthday up to you a different way? We can sneak you up there to see your ‘wife.’” Greg teases him, punching his arm gently.

“Really? How?” Kaneki scoffs.

“You know there’s been a way this whole time, right, dumbass? There’s this little opening that leads to a flight of stairs. It leads to the oh so wonderful Heaven. Eros found out the other day.” Greg explained how their other friend, Eros, had gone up there.

“W-we can try.” Kaneki stutters slightly.

“Alright. On your birthday... Which is in about three weeks.”


	4. The Sharpest Lives

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kaneki is lead to the staircase...

"Well it rains and it pours when you're out on your own,  
If I crash on the couch, can I sleep in my clothes,  
'Cause I spent the night dancing, I'm drunk I suppose,  
If it looks like I'm laughing,  
I'm really just asking to leave this alone,  
You're in time for the show,  
You're the one that I need,

I'm the one that you loathe,  
You can watch me corrode,  
Like a beast in repose,  
'Cause I love all the poison away with the boys in the band,

I've really been on a bender and it shows,  
So why don't you blow me,  
A kiss before she goes,

Give me a shot to remember,  
And you can take all the pain away from me,  
Your kiss and I will surrender,  
The sharpest lives are the deadliest to lead,  
A light to burn all the empires,  
So bright the sun is ashamed to rise and be,  
In love with all of these vampires,  
So you can leave like the sane, abandon me,"  
—My Chemical Romance, "The Sharpest Lives"

—  
And so, just as Greg promised Kaneki, they were sneaking out of Hell on his birthday.

"So where exactly are these stairs?" Kaneki asks Greg, putting his hands in the pockets of his jacket.

"We'll be meeting up with Eros on the way there. She'll show us the way." Greg answers, walking into an alleyway. Jake and Kaneki follow behind him.

At the end of the alley, there stands a tall, dark figure. Taller than Kaneki.

"Who's that?" Kaneki asks Greg, confused.

Greg only chuckles at his question before answering.

"That's Eros, stupid. She's just wearing those tall boots." 

Eros walks towards them, her black scene hair moving slightly with each step. 

Eros is a tall teenager. She has multiple piercings all over her face and a tattoo on her fingers. 

"Well, are we going or not, my lovely grandpas?" She asks, rolling her deep blue eyes.

"You fucking brat! Don't you dare call us that again! You forget you're seventeen, you shitty teen!" Jake yells at her, causing her to laugh with delight.

"Geez, Jake, take a fucking joke. No wonder no body wants to fuck you." Eros chuckles.

"Can we get going now?" Kaneki asks quietly, looking at his feet.

"Yeah, we better take him to his 'significant other' before they catch us." Greg teases Kaneki once again, and this time, Kaneki blushes slightly, a small hint of red appearing on his cheeks.

"Awe, he's blushing. Tell me, Kaneki. Do you want two or three kids? And can I be 'Aunt Eros'?" Eros asks, teasing Kaneki as well while she leads the way to the staircase.

"First of all, n-no you cannot be Aunt Eros, you'd be a very bad example. And second of all, I only want two." Kaneki replies.

"I'm the bad example? The only reason I got here was because I was in a cult, meanwhile you, 'Mister Good Example' killed many people." Eros rolls her eyes again.

For a second, Kaneki bites his lip and looks down at his feet, fists clenched. He feels so guilty and he wants to cry. He doesn't even deserve to be in hell. He should just be turned into dust and nothingness.

"Give it a rest, Eros. Kaneki needs a break." Jake mutters, giving her a long, hard glare.

Eros feels bad, and she stops. She gives Jake a small nod and once they've made it to the staircase, she stops and looks at them. "Well, we've made it. Let's go back up to the luxury life." Eros chuckles.

"Well, lover boy, this is your stop. Go on up there. We'll be waiting at the bar we always go to." Greg smiles.

Kaneki nods before he starts climbing the stairs. There's so many stairs. By the time he makes it to the seventh set of stairs, he's panting. Luckily, there's only three more left. He walks up those quickly as well, and then he's made it.

Heaven looks...amazing...

—  
To be continued...


	5. Welcome to the Black Parade

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kaneki finally makes it to Heaven, but what will happen?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello, everyone! I’m so sorry I haven’t posted in so long. I was sick, I was puking up everything spicy I ate, and I got heartburn and didn’t feel motivated lately. I decided to update for those waiting for this. I hope you enjoy. Please forgive me.

"Your misery and hate will kill us all,"  
-My Chemical Romance, "The Black Parade"

—

There's so many buildings in Heaven. Plants, water, dirt, and even sunlight. He wishes he'd come here sooner. Now he just needs to find her. He makes sure to try not to get any attention from the people walking on the streets. Otherwise they'd probably start freaking out.

He makes sure to walk through alleyways and behind buildings. He's looking around for a familiar face, but he doesn't see one.

A few minutes later, he does, but it isn't who he'd hope it would be. He's still glad it's just Eros. She had decided to follow him. She sticks beside him. She even asks him to give her a piggyback ride. When he refuses, she starts to sniffle and pout until he agrees.

She's actually quite light. She points to where she wants to go or something she wants to see and he takes her there. Before he knows it, she's fallen asleep against him. His back is growing tired, so he decides to let his kagune carry her. 

She woke up after her nap and yawned against his ear softly. "Papa, where are we?" She says sluggishly before feeling her eyes widen. She just called him papa didn't she?

"Papa? What do you mean papa? I'm Kaneki, Eros." He simply responds, trying to ignore what she just said.

"R-Right. So, where are we? Have you seen Ma— Miss Kirishima yet?" Eros asks, yawning again.

"No, I've been trying to find her though." Kaneki responds, smiling slightly when she hugs him from behind and snuggles closer. 

"I'm hungry..." Eros whines, whimpering softly like a hungry four year old child. "Get me some food..."

"We can't eat right now... I have to find her. I promise when we get back I'll buy you something." Kaneki responds to her whining.

"Mm, fine. It better be something good. I want something like soup." She said, playing with his hair. They talk about where Touka might be before she falls asleep again a few minutes later, leaving him alone with his thoughts.

What always helped him think? Music did. He would just play some music to help him concentrate. He hopes that can help him. 

He pulls out his phone and a pair of earbuds from his jacket pocket. He places the earbuds into his ears and plugs them into his phone before going into his music app. He clicks shuffle and hears a piano playing in the background of the song.

"Whether near or far,  
I am always yours,  
Any change in time,  
We are young again,  
Lay us down,  
We're in love,  
We're in love."

Suddenly, he feels a tear rolling down his cheek. He wishes he could just see her already. It won't be long until some Peacekeepers come snooping around and find him. 

And then, finally, he spots Touka walking along the street. He runs to her and almost drops Eros in the process.

"Touka-Chan!" He cries, and he smiles when she turns to look at him.

"Ken!" Touka calls, running towards him. She almost trips while running to him. 

She hugs him tightly, and he hugs her back. Eros wakes up again and yawns, startling Touka.

"Who's that?" Touka asks, looking at the sleepy female demon. She yawns again and rubs her eyes.

"Oh, that's Eros, she's harmless." Kaneki chuckles.

"Are you sure about that? She has piercings and stuff all over. She looks like a rebel, and I like it." Touka smiles.

But that smile turns into a frown as she notices the Peacekeepers of Heaven walking straight towards them, interrupting them.


End file.
